I wonder...

I have a lot of time to philosophize (albeit terribly shallow) whilst listening to the tantalizing soft rock of Magic 99.9. I think back to hearing on after school specials, "Be yourself! Don't try to be what everyone else wants you to be!", but at the same time, I recall the general advice to not be an asshole. What if I'm an asshole? What if I was born to be an asshole, and am destined to live a life of assholity? I am who I am, but it doesn't seem to be working for me.

I realize now that the people who get anywhere in life are the ones who people like, and the assertive. I am neither. No matter how many degrees I get, no matter how immaculately I try to live, I'm still going to be a few rungs lower on the occupational ladder than the assertive people that everyone likes. Sure, I could try to have more people like me, or I could try to be more assertive, but it's just not who I am, it's not in my nature.

What should I believe? That people who don't swear in public or stay up late on weekdays and say their pleases and thank yous will make it far in life? Cause that's not bloody true.

I think I might want to have another party here; I haven't seen a lot of people lately. I'm not sure if I'd rather just have people over, or get another LAN party going. However, I realize that after most parties, I regret them in retrospect. Parties make my friends happy, but they usually leave me somewhat less happy afterwards.

Listening to... Burt Bacharach/Stylistics - You'll Never Get to Heaven
Link of the moment... To pirate or not to pirate...