Depressed, like in a G sort of way

I saw her tonight. I saw her for the first time since I realized that she was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. And you know what? She was as beautiful as the day I walked away from her, with tears in both of our eyes.

I think I really never wanted to see her again. That way, she could be the girl that was out of my life forever, and I wouldn't have to think about her cause she'd be gone. I guess it doesn't make sense, but what does nowadays when it comes to me?

Eventually he showed up too, and that I could have done without. Whenever he looked at me, I had to look down, or away because I know he's the better man. I was hoping I could live my life without fear or shame form now on, but I guess it's just not in the books for me. I'm going to live the rest of my life as a small man who deserves less than he's given.

I don't know what else to say. It seems I've spent my summer doing things to avoid them, and I wish I could have just lived with denial for another two weeks, then I'd be home free. Sometimes I just want to leave this life behind, and everything with it, but it's all I have. There's so much I want to just forget, but there's so much I can't let go.

So go ahead and try to cheer me up if you want, but I doubt anyone will try. Who does the shoulder turn to when he needs to cry? I'm sick of being the compassionate ear, the voice of reason, and the one who points out the silver lining on the cloud. It's who I am, but I hate myself right now. I'm nothing.

Listening to... Sick of it All - Jungle
Link of the moment... Fuck