Motivation near zero
I really don't think I can handle it anymore. I think I've snapped. I don't understand any of the material in class and on the assignments, and I don't care about any of it either. I've got two assignments due tomorrow, and literally no idea how to do either. I've decided I'm not even going to do one of them, and I'll probably only get about 50% on the other.
I skipped my entire morning of class today. I read over the slides in the course notes, and it really just looks like jargon to me. I look at it, and it doesn't look like anything that I could possibly comprehend, like I was reading slides from some fourth year course, and have no idea what any of the notation even means.
I feel like I need a break, but Christ, I just got back from home. I'm very worried for the next month and a half. I'm not sure if I can get through the rest of the term, learning so much useless shit, and showing an understanding of it to boot. I can't fucking work eight months straight, I just can't.
The sad thing is that the next two years will be much, much harder than what I'm doing now. It's a good thing I didn't fail any courses yet, since I'll likely need them in upcoming terms.
You know what I did yesterday? I slept until about 11, then had a shower and lunch. After class, I came back to my room. I was fucking starving at 3 PM since they feed us shit lunches here. I figured I'd stick it out until supper. My hunger was unbearable, so I tried to sleep it off. So I slept until about 5:30 and had supper. I tried to read and understand my assignments, but couldn't, and actually tried going to bed at 8 PM since my head hurt from all this shit piling up. I got back up at 10 because all I did was sleep all day. I did nothing until 1AM, when I went back to bed and slept until 11 AM today, skipping my CS classes. That means that yesterday, I was awake for about 10 hours. Doing some simple math, that's 14 hours I slept, and I still had to take time to rest this morning.
Please let the rest of my life be fulfilling and worth living.
Listening to... Raised Fist - Silence is the Key
Link of the moment... Three cheers for escape from reality
I skipped my entire morning of class today. I read over the slides in the course notes, and it really just looks like jargon to me. I look at it, and it doesn't look like anything that I could possibly comprehend, like I was reading slides from some fourth year course, and have no idea what any of the notation even means.
I feel like I need a break, but Christ, I just got back from home. I'm very worried for the next month and a half. I'm not sure if I can get through the rest of the term, learning so much useless shit, and showing an understanding of it to boot. I can't fucking work eight months straight, I just can't.
The sad thing is that the next two years will be much, much harder than what I'm doing now. It's a good thing I didn't fail any courses yet, since I'll likely need them in upcoming terms.
You know what I did yesterday? I slept until about 11, then had a shower and lunch. After class, I came back to my room. I was fucking starving at 3 PM since they feed us shit lunches here. I figured I'd stick it out until supper. My hunger was unbearable, so I tried to sleep it off. So I slept until about 5:30 and had supper. I tried to read and understand my assignments, but couldn't, and actually tried going to bed at 8 PM since my head hurt from all this shit piling up. I got back up at 10 because all I did was sleep all day. I did nothing until 1AM, when I went back to bed and slept until 11 AM today, skipping my CS classes. That means that yesterday, I was awake for about 10 hours. Doing some simple math, that's 14 hours I slept, and I still had to take time to rest this morning.
Please let the rest of my life be fulfilling and worth living.
Listening to... Raised Fist - Silence is the Key
Link of the moment... Three cheers for escape from reality
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